Nothing but growls and chomps after every meal I ever served them. Quite the ride…but at least, the alligators were happy. Sure, the leaking water was waterfalling down my stairs. Sure, the leaking water was warping my floorboards in my attic. The absolute best I could do was to hang a hose from my ceiling. I also learned that, if they don’t get it, they’ll snap at your hand until you find a solution. Where was the fully functioning alligator pond they were promised in the brochure? The truth is, alligators need water. Thanks, gators-thanks.ĭid it end there? No. The resale value on this place totally tanked. First of all, where was the alligator ramp? How were two adult-sized alligators supposed to get up there without smacking their snouts? You should see the claw marks they made on their very first weekend. It’s simply not true.įrom the moment they moved into the attic, it was nothing more than a daily complain-fest. If you’re the type of person who, love-love-loves alligators, it sounds like the best idea since bacon-flavored lipstick. Hosting alligators in the attic seems like an amazing idea. S’mores are great, but not as great as having the only marshmallow jungle. People would line up to steal the marshmallows, and then melt them in the Outback’s sun. If Australia’s biggest secret got out, the world would be mad at us. Lastly, number five: don’t tell a soul about the marshmallow jungle. Let’s just say they get “stuck” because of hunger. Rounder tourists are ok, but sometimes they don’t come back, either. We use the extra hair to make wigs for our bald surfers.įour: no pets at all! They don’t ever come back. Any hair lost in the marshmallow will not be given back. Three: wear long sleeves, pants, and cover your hair in a bag. We don’t need people looking at their phones like a zombie. There are no refunds just because you Americans brought high-priced jeans. Before we make the trip, we have a few ground rules. If we did, our airports would get too busy. We just make sure not to tell too many people. It’s far out in the Outback Desert in a cave, so it’s not hard to hide. You look like a kid I can trust, so are you ready to hear it?Īustralia is home to the only marshmallow jungle in the world. Australia has been hiding a secret from the rest of the world. I’m one of the best tour guides in all of Australia. Simply put, my short stories for kids may not earn your money or be posted to any public. All I ask is that you follow my rules below.
Funny short stories to write about free#
Giving away this many free stories is awfully generous and a bit more rare these days. You can click the product link for more information, or copy-paste the text and use these in your own lesson plans. Think along the lines of Wayside School and Diary of a Wimpy Kid.īelow, I have listed several text copies of these stories for FREE! My Teachers Pay Teachers storehas earned over 1,900 wonderful reviews and these passages will help in your classroom. Trust me, my short stories for kids are some of the funniest out there. I used to be the craziest K3 reading tutor this side of Sweden and now I am writing children’s stories to help with reading. Not to worry, Mister Lewis has your back!
What is even harder? Finding those same funny reading passages in a format that works in your classroom.
It’s no secret that funny, short stories for kids are hard to find.
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